well its working for me..

I have figured out my triggers for over eating. Food in general. I like the taste of things and i eat them until they are gone. I like to make and eat. i like to create things that taste good and in turn over eat. Because im always wanting to create things. Now the challenge will be to create things that are healthier and still taste good. Problem is, I dont want to eat. And I dont like to waste money on uneaten food.

Found out my pouch hates turkey. So far I have only tried deli turkey. And it hates eating things more than once. Still cant drink plain water yet.

Having a hard time remembering to take my vitamins because im not hungry and not getting in all my protein and water either. BUT...

I am down 38 lbs since I started. WOOOHOOOO!

So, struggles!

11 days out and I have been struggling with a lot of things. first being getting all my fluids in. Not being hungry i don't think to drink or "eat" anymore. I am lucky if im getting in 32 oz of food or drinks a day. Today I am making the conscious effort to drink more. which leads to my second struggle. Protein. I got one of each flavor of the shakes i like. And other various samples from here or there. EVERYthing makes me sick. Except today. I made a Fuzzy navel Syntrax nectar with water and let it sit overnight to let the foam settle and it went down ok. It seems to be the milk based ones. Even the lactose free versions of RTD shakes i had.

Yesterday i was supposed to start puree. But i cant seem to want to start. I'm scared my pouch will hate it. Its very finicky. One day it likes something and the very next day that same thing will make me sick. Same goes for hot and cold things. I did puree my soup instead of straining it so that's a start, right?

The pain is coming and going. Mostly on days when I do a lot around the house or walks longer than the 4 blocks to walk the dog.

Fuck!! This is so hard. And the first person that says I took the easy way out is going to get a fist to the mouth.

Now, on to the good news. I have lost 33 lbs since I got my first weigh in at the dr's Office earlier this year. My clothes are fitting better and a lot looser. Im hoping to hit 200 by christmas! I can do it.

6 days post op

Sorry I didn't write sooner. I had a hard time managing my pain and sleepiness. Today I feel great. Learned by trial and error(mostly error) my pouch doesn't like cold things just yet. My pouch would cramp something fierce and cause all kinda of pain. Now I am just drinking hot things for the next 24 hours and slowly put in some cold again. My energy is returning to pre op levels slowly. And for some reason, my incisions only hurt in the muscle layer. But, that is manageable pain.

day of surgery - I wasn't allowed anything to drink. just mouth swabs to keep my mouth wet. ALOT of pain. Gas pain inside pain. The gas was building up  so much i could see my belly growing bigger. I walked a bunch and still didn't pass it but it helped just by walking.
day 2- started on ice chips and sipping ice water. soooo much cramping and pain. broth was room temp when they brought it so that caused cramping and pain. They wanted  to send me home that afternoon. That's when the gas hit again. So distended that my belly was almost round. They kept me another night. I slept in 4 hour spurts because they kept the pain meds on schedule.
day 3- I farted. felt sooo much better. still very tired. they sent me home. where i immediately started on the gas x strips and heating pad. Why don't they give you this stuff in the hospital? I felt so much better after an hour.
Slept in my own bed on second night home and slept for 7 straight hours. it made a huge difference.
and yesterday I pooped. It was the best feeling ever!

I have been steadily getting better each day. Today.. great!.

Last Solid Meal

Tonight is my last solid meal. Bacon pickle cheese sandwich. Went for steak last night. It was very tasty.

See you in a few days.

Approved (again)

I got my letter from the insurance company today. I was approved. I say again because my Dr's office put my surgery in to insurance back in April when I was finished with everything. I wasn't ready then.  I am now. 22 days and i'm starting to get nervous. This is my last full week of work. Dr appts next week and support group and Pre op testing.. If everything goes the way I planned, liquid diet starts 10/4. The same night as out monthly Tacos with friends night. I wont be eating with them..

So yeah, nervous... I think scared too.. the last time I was in the hospital I was dating someone that didn't care. I was in the hospital for a week with no visitors or anything. It really bums a person to know you aren't loved. That's not the case anymore.. Tim is amazing and supportive and has crazy mad love for me..

Pretty soon I will be on the losers bench... yay!!!

Paperwork

All my paperwork has been sent to my employer for my time off. Oct 8 cant get here soon enough. 40 days from today.

Last night i rearranged all my stash by stages.
Clear and full liquid. and sippy cups, condiment containers and lids
Pureed - larger cups and containers
Soft
Vitamins and supplements( including the protein)
back to work stuff ( bars and Containers)


I am SOOOOOOO ready for this.

Dates!

Pre admission testing and pre-op with the surgeon on 9/26 with surgery scheduled for 10/8. SOOOOO excited. and they have already scheduled my post op appts too. They are on the ball.. 55 days to go til surgery. I am a mixed bag of emotions.. Part of me is nervous that its so close. Anxious that something's gonna go wrong. Excited its finally set. determined not to fail.


Also, I made my food funeral list. Its longer than I thought. But my final meal is going to be sushi.